Isolation

Ever been surrounded by people, but feel alone? Have something on your mind that you want to talk about, but can’t find the words? I felt that way this weekend. And I know why.

I had a conversation with someone that didn’t go well. It was about a stupid topic, my work; about something that doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. I knew I was right in what I was saying. 100% right, I mean, I work for the company… I should know what’s right, right? And this person wouldn’t believe what I was saying. But I know with everything in my body, I was right.

When I’m right, I feel the need to help people see the truth in what I’m saying and I can be a bit aggressive about it. By the end of the conversation, I felt like I was still talking in a calm manner, but the other person raised their voice because I wouldn’t let it go and then walked out. Needless to say, that was the end of the discussion. From that moment, I felt isolated.

Craig and I went to our nieces 2nd birthday party with family.
I felt isolated.

We went to our I Believe class at church (the class we have to go through in order to join).
I felt alone.

We went to church.
I felt lonely.

I’ve prayed about it. I’ve tried to work past it on my own.
I’ve hit a brick wall.

Mainly because the other person ended the conversation on a negative note… just walking away. By the end of the discussion, all I wanted was for them to believe me because I work there. I’m of the mentality that if one of my friends told me something about their company, I would believe it without question because THEY WORK THERE.

But now, all I want is for that person to apologize for walking away. They don’t have to believe me if they don’t want to, even though I’m 100% right in this case (and I would tell you if I wasn’t), but I would like an apology for not handling the situation with some class. Walking away from a discussion is a childish thing to do. It’s what our niece does if she doesn’t get her way.

Until the apology, this conflict is going to weigh heavily on my chest. Some of you may ask yourselves, why doesn’t she say something first? Why not bring up the topic of them walking away? Because I feel like they walked away to avoid finishing the discussion. Since they “ended” it, I believe they should come back first.

I know it’s a stupid topic and a dumb problem to have, but I’ve been hurt by this and when I hurt people, I apologize. I want the same thing to happen here.

Is an apology too much to ask for?

I realize it’s a 2-way street with this discussion. I know I’ll need to apologize for being too aggressive with my “rightness” and for not letting it go. I’m fine with that and I’m happy to do so, but after they approach me first.